I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
