guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
