I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
