i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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