I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize