Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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