dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
