Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
