So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
