Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
