I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
