Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I know her cup size but not her name....
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