I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
