people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
