Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(707): View more from California

Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?

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(831): View more from California

theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it

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(704): View more from North Carolina

he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.

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(269): View more from Michigan

My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.

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(406): View more from Montana

apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...

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(805): View more from California

I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.

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(519): View more from Ontario

I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub

(1-519): View more from Ontario

I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.

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