You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
