how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm just crazy horny about you
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
