I want to make a zoo with you.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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