So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
