so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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