I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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