Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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