if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
