You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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