You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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