why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
