So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
