I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
