I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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