OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
did you just send me my own nude
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize