Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
