you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
