My brain says no but my pants say off.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
