the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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