I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
it's like iHOP with fire
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
