I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
