I have demons in me.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
