So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
