yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
