All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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