The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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