So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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