im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
