Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
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