Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
