either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize