you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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