Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
