so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
