If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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