Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
