Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
