youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
