respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
