He is an equal opportunity slut.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Randomize
