my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
